A Salute To My Idol

Who is the real Comedy King?
Joey de Leon

Father Fernando Suarez of the Companions of the Cross is known as The Healing Priest. Reverend Father Joey Faller of Kamay Ni Hesus Healing Center and Reverend Father Corsie Legaspi of Pinagpalang Kamay Healing Ministry are also known as such.
Now, what do you call the priest who accompanied the controversial Jun Lozada (whistleblower ba o noseblower — iyak nang iyak kasi eh, tapos tatawa, minsan magdyo-joke pa… ano ba ‘yan, parang simbolo ng showbiz) last Feb. 8 at the Senate inquiry marathon? Sirit? The Hearing Priest!
Now, what do you call a gay priest who is involved in a sex scandal? Ano pa, eh di The HE-ling Priest!
Pwede ring The Kneeling Priest or The Gel-ling Priest. Gets?
By the way, what do you call a politician who is preachy and pumapapel na malinis at mabait? Eh di The Feeling Priest!
Ngayon, let’s play "What If?" Magpatawa na lang tayo, tutal sa Senado puro sila patawa pati nga witness eh.
What if a "kickbacking" politician becomes a priest, what would his title be? Ano pa, eh di The Dealing Priest!
What if Jun Lozada becomes a priest, what would he be? Eh di The Siling Priest! Hindi n’yo nakuha?
Bicolano s’ya, ‘di ba?
S’yanga pala, si running priest Robert Reyes, hindi ba sa Manila Pen siege, s’ya ‘yung "naHuling Priest?"
Someone texted me, " These senators and TV networks are wasting their hours on something which has been cancelled (ZTE-NBN deal). What more if that Chinese contract is really existing?"
Well darling, your worry is also our worry. Kung buhay ‘yan broadband deal at nagkaroon ng hearing, wala na … patay na kami! Wala na kaming trabaho sa TV.
Noon ngang first hearing with J.Lo (Jun Lozada), napreempt ang ibang mga regular shows sa television eh; na-cancel din kami katulad ng ZTE. Akala mo of national importance eh, kanselado naman ‘yung pinag-uusapan at pinag-aawayan. At ang daming nakikisawsaw at nakikisali. Totoo nga yatang ‘yung last two letters of the word Senate na "TE" stand for television. And "SENA" is for eksena. Ayun, umi-eksena ‘pag may telebisyon. Kunsabagay, chamber in Spanish is camara – tunog camera din ‘yun.
For the TV networks, hinay-hinay lang please. Mawawalan kami ng trabaho. Okay lang sana kung iko-cover din n’yo ‘yung hearing nina Lolit Solis, Piolo Pascual at Sam Milby. Mas exciting ‘yun at mas mataas ang rating sigurado.
Television is really powerful. Some politicians are obviously using this medium to promote themselves. At kinukunsinti naman ng mga TV stations. Akalain mong bigyan pa ng full attention, and free airtime pa!
Almost twenty hours in those two hearings! And some keen observers say that aside from being a GMA versus the opposition contest, this Jun Lozada controversy seems to be another extension of the network wars – GMA versus ABS-CBN. So, people of the Philippines, it’s just another ratings game. Let’s go on with our lives, Pare-pareho lang ‘yan. As long as there is network war, we will always be divided. Comedy lang lahat ito. The main witness is a comedian, at patutunayan ko po sa inyo your Honors. Here’s my solid evidence. Ang first name ng witness ay Rodolfo.
Rodolfo din ang first name ni Dolphy! Ang second name ng witness ay Noel. Ang Noel ay pangalan ng isa sa mga leading characters sa Champoy na kasama ni Subas Herrero – si Noel Trinidad. Ang apelyido n’ya ay apelyido rin ng nasirang kaibigan ni Kuya Germs na si Ike Lozada. S’ya din po ay Junior, at sandamakmak ang mga Junior sa daigdig ng komedya — Tony Santos, Jr., Bentot, Jr., at iba pa. At pagkatapos, ang tingin pa ng ibang mga kumakampi sa kanya ay isa s’yang "bayani." Kaya kumpletong -kumpleto po your Honors – ginawa din s’yang Bayani Agbayani at Bayani Casimiro!
Your Honor, Mister Chairman, malinaw po na purong-purong komedyante po ang witness n’yo. Thank you very much.
I also received other messages pertaining to this latest Senate scenario, some funny and some straight and serious.
"Hindi porke’t lumapit ang isang tao sa mga madre at pari eh mabait na … si Hitler nga palasimba eh."
"How do you know if Lozada is telling the truth?
Someone please tell him to mo-derate his lies."
"Basta ako, ang alam ko, ‘pag nagalit si Joker Arroyo sa isang tao, sigurado bad ‘yun."
"Oh my God, here’s the truth — the three things so much abused in this country are — God, Truth and Country."
"Hindi porke’t manipis ang buhok sa tuktok eh mabait ka na."
"Para lumiwanag ang usapan sa Senado, pagtabi-tabihin n’yo si Jun Lozada, Joey de Venecia at Noynoy Aquino … liliwanag na ‘yun."
"Ano ba ‘yang kickback na ‘yan sa lintik na contract na ‘yan sa Instik, in cash ba o in check?"
"Sa ngalan, sa ngalan … puro na lang kayo sa ngalan.
Alang-alang, alang-alang … puro na lang kayo sa alang-alang. Para sa bayan, para sa bayan … puro na lang kayo para sa bayan. …… ina n’yo!"